weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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