; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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