Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
only you would photoshop your dick
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
