Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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