you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize