Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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