Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
