Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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