This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
