im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
