its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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