tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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