"it" just moved
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
