don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
