So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
