My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
