I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize