Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
