everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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