Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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