Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize
