It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
