I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
