i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
