how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
