eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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