Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
