I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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