ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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