We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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