Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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