Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
