I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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