Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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