a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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