It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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