so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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