I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
