what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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