Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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