i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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