I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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