So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
