we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
