All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
