So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
