I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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