Who wears a wallet chain?!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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