Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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