a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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