we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
