The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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