No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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