A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
