so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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