i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
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tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.