I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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